- If You Love Me, You'll Feed My
Duck
okay, so the title says it all. no poem necessary.
- Marvin's Song
 (not Annie's Song, not Brian's
Song, but Marvin's Song)
Marvin is a Swan Goose, yeah,
He needs a lot of chow.
And if he nips your arm or leg,
Please don't have a cow.
See, Marvin has his bad days, too,
He's just like all of us.
So when you feel him snapping down,
Resist the urge to cuss.
Resist the urge to cuss.
Marvin is no handsome duck,
For beauty's not his claim.
It's a macho build and charming honk
That bring this duck to fame.
His neck is way too long, you see,
His beak, not orange, but black.
But if you love sweet Marvin Goose,
He's sure to love you back.
He's sure to love you back.
- Tennis, Circuit Design Engineering,
and Love
Tennis this week to play I've not
The sport, you see, at it I suck.
A geek who plays it well, howe'er
With the babes has lots of luck:
"Come," they say, "It's two to love.
My circuit needs a redesign.
Is this just a bunch of racket,
Or is my heart networked to thine?"
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- Ode to Gene with Too Many U's
(caution:
not for the faint of heart)
My tongue, alas, thou dost abuse,
And yet thy love who could refuse?
Amidst thy daft and subtle cues
Thy passion freely doth diffuse.
And while thy rhymes my heart amuse
My gentle brain they do confuse.
And if I were the star Tom Cruise,
I'd find thee ther'py, thy soul infuse,
And when thou'd fin'ly paid thy dues,
Thy verse I'd cease to then accuse.
But if I were one Howard Hughes,
I'd buy for thee a brand new Muse.
And then when verse thou choose to use,
What babe could bid thee e'er adieus?
- Ode to Jeanne Keyboard and the Truth
About Poetry
The truth I must confess to you
The song, although it is quite blue—
‘Twas never given melody.
The chords are swiped quite shamelessly
From songs I wrote before, you see,
And this is bad admittedly.
Because I knew it’d be in print
Create a new tune – no, I di’nt.
Though you say I’m just a fool,
In print, you see, there is no rule
That says my song must sound just right
I passed it off – an oversight,
Just hoping no one dared to try
To give the song a melo-dye
And when I saw you tried in vain
To reconstruct the tune I’d lain,
I knew I must reveal to thee
The secret to all poetry:
There ain’t no poem worth your while
That can’t be sung to Gill’gan’s Isle.
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- Duck Blues Opus 39 in F# Minor
I woke up this morning, found my love had gone out the
back,
I say I woke up this morning, found my love'd gone out the back,
He wrote a note but all it said: "I'm outta here, signed Quack Quack."
 Ya'
see my love was always jealous of my quackin' squeakin' true duck friends,
I say the man was always jealous of those whistlin' squealin'
true duck friends.
He'd say "Come on, kiss me, baby" but I had gone to feed the Town Lake ducks
again.
"Come on, honey, you know I'm better lookin' than a
duck"
He'd say, "Come honey, lemme love ya even better than a
duck."
And I'll tell you that I tried it yeah, but, baby, never had such luck.
It ain't that I wanna neglect or ignore my man.
I say it ain't that I wanna go neglect or ignore no man.
But no one gonna quack at me the way a Muscovy or Mallard can.
He turn to me, he say "I'm afraid you've done quacked
up."
He turn to me accusin' me that I've done surely quacked up.
Guess that's why when I came home he had his bags all packed up.
Now my baby's gone and I'm left here with my ducks and
geese.
Now he's up and left me and I'm stuck here with them ducks and
geese.
You may think it's strange but I finally done found my peace.
[ insert guitar solo long enough to make you forget the lyrics]
- The Tears on my Top Tube Blues
Dedicated to
the-pack-o'-men-who-dropped-me-on-that-
gravel-road-just-outside-Prairie-Lea :-)
guitar chords:
Verse: Gm, Dm, Am, Dm
B flat, E flat, F, Gm
Gm, Dm, Am, Dm
F, Gm, F, Gm
The weather sure is fine today;
I'm ridin' on your wheel.
Ain't no words in the human language
Can tell you how I feel.
I love the way you take my wind
And make my ride so light.
From back here where I'm sittin', babe,
This ride is quite a sight.
It's guys like you who make us ride,
I'm talking 'bout the view.
If you could be where I am now,
I think you'd see it, too.
You always give me real good wheel,
I'll stay here on your back.
And when two just ain't enough for me,
I'll do it in a pack.
But you done gone and dropped me
And left me in the dust.
With these tears all o'er my chain, dear,
My bike gonna up and rust!
Bridge:
Gm, Dm, Am
Gm, Dm, Am
Asus2, B flat, F
Asus2, B flat, F
Gm, Dm, Am
Dm, Am, Gm
Ooooh, I got tears on my top tube
cuz of you
All these tears on my top tube
Feelin' kinda blue.
You let me get so close,
Then suddenly off you goes,
Leavin' these tears all o'er my top tube
Cuz of you.
You wanna impress the biker babes
With yo' mighty pow'rful speed,
This here the kinda impression, though
That you don't wanna leave.
Cuz babes gonna dig a real man
Who can sprint or who will wait.
But leavin' your babe in a trail o' dust--
That the thang she gonna hate.
A thousand other women musta
Left a trail o' tears so black.
And I'd best follow that trail, man,
Cuz I forgot my map.
Been ridin' much too long now
These roads ain't got no names.
Each cow look like the other,
Every tree startin' to look the same.
Got me cryin' in my waterbottle
Tears pourin' down like rain.
As soon as I stop cryin' though,
I'm gonna lube my chain.
Bridge:
[long eerie wail, kinda the way
Chris Isaak does it]
I got tears on my top tube
Cuz of you.
All these tears on my top tube
Guess I'm feelin' blue.
You let me get so close,
Then suddenly off you goes,
Leavin' these tears on my top tube
Cuz of you ...
(repeat until all listeners
have
long since left the room and
then gently fade out...)
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